You know, it’s harder to think of stuff to write than I originally thought, so I’m going to start slow… nothing too deep yet.
Alright, if anyone knows me, they know that one of my key pet peeves if flakiness… either say “yes” and mean it or say “no” and mean it and deal with the consequences later. And if you say, “I don’t know – I really don’t care” then you REALLY should not care.
For example, if someone says: “Hey, let’s get something to eat. What are you in the mood for?”
And you reply: “I really don’t care… whatever…”
Then even if the first person says: “Okay, let’s eat pig snouts!” you’d better be ready to smile while you’re eating your pig snouts – and maybe even go back for seconds.
But no… what usually happens is this…
Me: “Hey let’s get some lunch. What do you want to eat?”
Them: “Oh, I don’t care – whatever. What do you want?”
Me: “I really don’t care either, and you know me… I’m not picky.”
Them: “Oh, just pick something – anything.”
Me: “Okay, let’s get some mexican food.”
Them: “Ick, no, anything but mexican.”
Me: “Okay, then let’s get some chinese food.”
Them: “Hmmm, where?”
Me: “I don’t know… how about XYZ Mandarin?”
Them: “I really don’t like the food there…”
Me: “Then YOU choose.”
Them: “I really don’t care, just pick somewhere…”
Me: “Please wait right here while I run over you with my car…”
And what’s even MORE annoying is knowing that the only reason the other person doesn’t want to choose is because he/she (usually she) doesn’t want to seem like he/she (usually she) is being pushy. So instead I just think they have no spine.
And I think a common misconception about flakiness is that it’s simply indecisiveness. It’s not. When people are being flaky (and by this I mean true ‘flakiness’ not something like if you truly don’t know all the facts and need some more information before deciding) I think they know full well what they want. It’s mostly a matter of how their decision or action will appear to others. This is sad.
What da…xanga pulled you in too?! haha, well welcome:)
i disagree. i agree with the sample conversation as i tend to do that too, but i disagree with the reasons why that happens. Well, for me, it’s not because i don’t want to be pushy or because i’m indecisive…i just don’t want to be responsible if the place turns out to be sucky and everyone is having a bad time…all because i suggest we go eat at XYZ Mandarin Express Chinese. That’s all.but lately, i’ve learned to reply with “Oh, i’m i’ll eat anything…except mexican. i hate mexican!”
Hmmmm… so what you’re saying is that you don’t want to look bad… so it’s all about saving face? Hmmm… well, I’d rather have everyone think that I pick the worst restaurants than have a dozen people in the parking lot staring at each other waiting for someone to say something.
eh