Thank You Mr./Ms. Schwartz!

Today, I checked my credit card balance online and noticed something funny.  Well, first something scary then something funny.  The scary thing was the amount my payment would have to be this month so that I don’t draw a finance charge.  Remember, I’ve been travelling a lot for work and such and have been charging everything and have yet to be reimbursed.

Then I clicked over to my other credit card I have with this same bank and noticed my limit was increased by 31 cents.  I thought it was odd because I hadn’t used that card in over 3 years and knew the balance was zero.  So I looked at my online statement.  The only transaction posted was a deposit for 31 cents.  Under the column labelled “description” it said, “Schwartz Settlement Refund.”  Hmm… well, with a name like Schwartz they probably wouldn’t think it was kosher giving everyone an early Christmas present.

So now I’m thinking, okay there was probably some class action lawsuit by which some shady lawyers got really rich and Mr. or Ms. Schwartz and the other 7 million of us got a piddly 31 cents.  Now I’m wondering… what the heck am I going to do with it?  I’m going to file this under “Are you kidding me?  Why are you wasting my time?”

I mean, I don’t plan on using this card again.  I’m halfway tempted to call the bank and cancel the card and tell them to mail me a check for the 31 cents.  Oh wait!  I got an idea.  The challenge has been made.  I’m going to try to charge as many things that I can that total up to less than 31 cents until I have a surplus of only one cent.  THEN I’m going to ask them to mail me a check for the entire amount I have coming to me.

So, what costs less than 30 cents that I can charge to a credit card?  Any ideas?  I mean, I can’t even buy a stamp for that amount.  Maybe I should wait until after Christmas because the last thing I want is a stressed out cashier shoving this piece of plastic up my nose.  I could see it now… “Yes, I’d like a single mento… and do you take Mastercard?”

Guitar Pick:  $0.15

7 Grapes:  $0.12

1/1000th of a share of Microsoft Stock:  $0.03

Getting a check from Citibank for $0.01 and making them spend another 37 cents on a stamp just because I think they’re being stupid for even trying to give me 31 cents:      Priceless.

There are some things money can’t buy… and 31 cents pretty much covers most of them.