Vivid Dreaming

I think one of the side-effects of the drugs I’ve been taking is that I’ve had a hard time discerning fantasy from reality as I’m waking up from some very vivid dreams.  There were a couple of times last night as I was drifting off to sleep that I felt that someone was getting into bed with me.  I could feel the bed move, hear the springs squeak, and feel the sheets move.  Each time I would open my eyes to see what was going on, nothing would be there.  This happened three times within 5 minutes of each other.  The last time, I was actually thinking, “I know this isn’t really happening…  I know this isn’t really happening,”  I was never scared, though.  For some reason it just felt like it was a family member or childhood friend.

I also had a very strange thing happen to me this morning.  For some odd reason I dream a lot about subways.  And please don’t go into that whole Freudian thing with me about it.  I put about as much merit in him as I do the Easter Bunny.  More than anything I think these subway dreams have to do with the direction my life is going… but more on that later.  In this one particular dream I’m actually riding a subway which is taking me to the North – nowhere in particular… just somewhere north – several states away, so this is going to be a long journey.  I’m actually going with a class of some sort and one of my responsibilities is to carry the suitcase with all the certificates and diplomas in it.  It’s a light blue leather carry-on type rolling suitcase with one odd accessory.  It has a light blue extension cord attached to it.  I can’t see where the other end of the extension cord goes.  It’s just attached somewhere.

At one point I get off the subway in the middle of our journey.  In fact, our entire class does.  The professor points out that the station has no real entrance or exit so we’re just going to have to wait for the next train.  He also said it’s not really a station in the classic sense in that you could actually walk in this station all the way to your destination if you decided not to ride the subway at all.  There were ways to leave the station, but they were transfer points to buses that could take you to these other destinations.  You couldn’t actually physically leave the station unless you were on some sort of conveyance.

Well, as the subway was pulling away, I noticed that I was actually the only one who got off the train and was alone in the station with my suitcase with the extension cord still attached to something far away.  So I decided to start walking to see where the extension cord went.  As I was doing so, I came across a young woman whose name escapes me now…  I think it was Muriel or Maria or something.  She seemed like she was lost.  I told her not to worry and that another subway would probably be on it way soon.  She didn’t seem concerned with that.  She just sat there crying.  So I just continue on my quest to see where this extension cord lead.  It seems to go on forever, but every now and then it would branch off to a huge outlet in the wall on the other side of the subway tunnel.  Well, I was afraid that the next train would pull it out so I just yanked it out myself.

This is when all hell broke loose.  All the lights started flickering on and off, the tiles started falling from the ceiling.  Pieces of the roof fell off in odd geometrical shapes and parts of the floor gave way.  After the dust settled, I noticed Muriel jumping around and laughing in the rubble.  She pointed out that each jump she took the lighting would change and a new geometric shape would form in various colors on the floor… a magenta pentagon, a green triangle, a yellow oval…

I decided not to dwell on it and continue my journey northward, just rolling my luggage plodding along this endless subway station because it didn’t seem like another train was coming anytime soon.  I wasn’t concerned about Muriel because it seemed like she was either unconcerned herself or wouldn’t accept my help anyway.

Then I woke up this morning… at a bus station… near one of the local parks.  I had no idea how I got there.  I just remember that as I was waking up I heard some morning commuters talking about how the coffee at some place tasted really awful.  Then a second voice reminded the first that some Vietnamese guy in their office named Nguyen’s ashes was placed in an urn in the break room and that maybe someone had used that by mistake for the morning brew.  Then I opened my eyes to see six people just standing there waiting for the bus pretty much oblivious to the fact that I had just woken up.  I was completely baffled as to how I got there or who would have left me there.

I gathered my wits and started walking away not really sure where I was going.  Then I realized the only way out of the park was this steep road on a hill.  As I started climbing the hill I encountered a little boy who was looking for some tree frogs that were only found in that park.  He found one on the a part of the road that was flooded out and looked like a lilypad.  This is when I woke up for real this time… in my bed.

Then I heard some scratching at my bedroom door.  I went to open it, and there was our family’s black and white Chihuahua just jumping up trying to lick my face.  She was followed close behind by my brother who informed me that my mom and dad were going to be here soon.  This was odd for two reasons.  One, I had no idea my family was coming to visit me, and two, that dog had been dead for at least 15 years now.  The third odd thing that I didn’t notice until that point was that I was in our old house from back when I was in high school.

This was when I woke up for the last time and I came over here to the computer to write all this before I forgot it all.  OR am I really here… I could be just waiting to just wake up again…