Isn’t It Ironic?

Every now and then when I get writer’s block (I know, who’da thunk it for me?) I ask people for suggestions on what to write about, especially if they enjoy reading this site.  Well, this time the suggestion was from Lovy – one of my most favorite people in the whole world.   Initially she wanted me to tackle some really heavy subjects on politics and world issues, but I told her that I don’t really like writing about that kind of stuff.  Then she suggested that I write something about the ironies of this world.  Whoa, deep.  And I was thinking and thinking and I couldn’t really think of anything that wouldn’t sound really contrived.

I suppose I could write about how one of the MOST reached people groups by the gospel and who sends more missionaries, per capita, than any other country in the world (Korea) and one of the LEAST reached people groups and probably in the deepest need for the gospel (Japan) is only seperated by a body of water about 50 miles wide (Korea/Tsushima Strait).  But, really, this is more of a tragedy than irony because it is to Korea’s shame that the Chrisitians don’t realize that what they were saved from is a billion times worse than any war atrocities that can be committed.

Or perhaps I could write about how the U.S. is seen in the world’s eyes as the representative figure-head for Christianity, but they also see us as the most morally bankrupt society in the world because of what they see in the movie theaters and satellite TV.  But I guess this would be more paradoxical than ironic.

So what I decided to do instead was make fun of Alanis Morisette because it is so easy.  For those of you old enough to remember (and I’m not even sure Lovy is), she wrote a song called Isn’t It Ironic in which she prates on and on about various things that she thinks are examples of irony.  The only truly ironic thing about that song is that there are little to no examples of irony in it (Perhaps THAT was her true intent – displaying irony by writing a song about irony with no irony in it – btw, do you ever say a word so much that it loses all meaning?  I’m getting that with the word “irony” right now for some reason).  Thus, as a tribute to her musical genius, I rewrote the lyrics to her song using, what I think to be, true examples of irony.  Forgive me, Alanis (btw, loved your work on “You Can’t Do That On Television” on Nickelodeon).

Isn’t It Ironic

An old man turned twenty-four
He won the lottery as he held up the store
It’s a black fly living in the bug spray can
It’s a death row pardon for the only guilty man
Isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?

Chorus:
It’s like rain on a really dry day
It’s a free ride for Mr. Bill Gates
It’s the good advice from the prison inmate
Who would’ve thought… it figures

Mr. Play it Safe was afraid to die
He lived in his basement and closed the door real tight
He thought he was safe from the horrors outside
And as the house burned down he thought… “Well, at least I’m alright…”
And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think

(repeat chorus)

Well musicians have a funny way
Of thinking they’re real deep
They write a song about ironic things
And not write anything about it

And musicians have a funny way
Of writing lines that don’t rhyme
Either that or they think that
The word “paid” rhymes with “take”

A traffic jam when you took the long way
A “stop smoking” ad on the crystal ashtray
It’s like 10,000 spoons in the anorexic’s house
It’s meeting the girl of my dreams… and then meeting her lesbian spouse
And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?
This song’s a little too ironic… and yeah, I really do think.

(repeat chorus)

And musicians have a funny way
Of thinking they’re real deep
And musicians have a funny way
Of annoying you real bad
Annoying you real bad

Here are the original lyrics