Alice, this ain’t Wonderland. And I suppose if a bottle told you to jump off a cliff, you’d do that too? No matter. You won’t be opening up any more bottles from here on out because you now lack opposable thumbs as your hands are now replaced with paws… that’s right, paws. From your bear tracking days, you’d say it’s a might handsome forepaw of a polar bear. This is soon confirmed by the appearance of white fur all over your body. You also realize that your hiding place is no longer viable because you are twice the size of the table.
Even if it were dark, this is hard not to notice as the old man now turns his attention to you. He reaches for something off an adjacent table and hides it behind himself.
Do you…
charge him and treat him like a tasty seal…
run away to the nearest glacier…
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