Parents and PDA

Anyone out there have parents that display a lot of affection toward each other in front of other people?  How does it make you feel?  Happy?  Neutral?  A little grossed out?  Ready to hurl?  I suppose it depends on how you feel about PDA in general… or is it different when it’s your folks, of all people?

First generation Korean parents aren’t really renowned for being affectionate… heck, I know some people who have never even seen their parents ever touch each other and probably assume that the stork story is true.  And even though I think my folks are pretty typical for a Korean couple in most other ways, I don’t think they were too self-conscious when it came to PDA… much to my dismay as a teenager.  My mom was usually the instigator… all my aunts on my mom’s side were always very affectionate.  Whenever they would visit us, I’d become an expert squirmer to get out of their cuddling clutches.

Until I compared childhood stories with my Korean-American friends, I never realized how affectionate our household was.  My dad made me kiss my sister (we’re only a year apart) for photos when we were 5 or 6.  Our home movies are filled with scenes of my sister constantly kissing our kid brother.  I still remember vividly the feeling of my father’s beard stubble on my cheek when kissing him every day before going to elementary school… but I don’t know when or why that stopped.  I’m sure it was me and feeling I was too old to be doing that anymore.  And I actually do remember when I was maybe 11 and I didn’t want my mom to hug me anymore and how it looked like it hurt her a little bit (probably a lot).

I remember in high school, I would see my parents in the kitchen or on the porch hugging or in each other’s laps while reading.  I would always leave the room in mild annoyance.  One time my father said, “Oh, you’re just JEALOUS!”  One day my dad actually pinched my mom in the butt in front of me.  I almost lost my lunch.  I don’t think they are this way in front of their friends… just us kids… much to our chagrin.

But, you know, as much as I protested or seemed disgusted, I know that inside I was glad and knew I was lucky that my parents were (and still are) that way.  Recently, I’ve noticed a renaissance of sorts with their “dating” life now that they’re retired.  These days they travel together, or golf with each other every other day (my mom regularly beats my dad, but he doesn’t seem to mind), or go fly a kite on a lark.  I’m really glad they have each other.

I see my brother and my sister-in-law and how much genuine affection they have for each other and perhaps see that as a part of my folks’ legacy.  I remember one time we were all shopping at the L.L. Bean outlet store over Christmas break and caught my brother holding his wife (then, fiancee, I think) in his arms right there in front of my folks.  No one seemed to mind.

Mom… Dad… sorry for always acting grossed out all those years ago.  Dad, you were right… I was jealous… jealous that it seemed you guys knew some sort of secret for a happy marriage.

(if you can’t tell, those are duck bill noisemakers in their mouths in this adorable yet mildly nauseating photo I took a few years ago)