I was car “shopping” the other week and noticed something. Station wagons are back with a vengeance!
At first I didn’t notice it, but as I was sitting in the back seat of a Toyota Highlander all of a sudden I got flashbacks to my youth when I would get carsick from eating too many Cheetos on our 12 hour drive to the Grand Canyon. I stepped out for a second and looked again… no wood paneling… no massive roof luggage rack… no white wall tires or curb antennas… It didn’t look like the family-mobile from my childhood:
But there was no mistaking it… I definitely got the “station wagon” vibe from it. All I needed was to hear, “If you don’t stop fighting, I’m going to pull this car over and…[insert empty parental threat here]” and I would have officially experienced deja vu.
Impossible… didn’t they stop making those in the mid-80’s? Didn’t the SUV make these Mom-please-don’t-make-me-drive-it-to-the-prom cars obsolete?
So I spoke to the dealer a little bit… “so, is this vehicle built on a truck frame (true SUV, think X-terra) or a mini-van frame (“family” SUV, think Chrysler Pacifica)?”
“Actually, it’s built on a car frame. It’s considered a ‘cross-over’ vehicle, so it’s lower to the ground and gets comparable gas mileage to a car, but it has more cargo space.” the dealer answered.
Umm… isn’t that exactly what a station wagon is… or at least was?
I mean, if you squint a little, take away the rounded edges, and imagine the sides covered with faux-wood grain decals, there’s no way you can’t see it:
Don’t let the functionless “spoiler” fool you. This, my friends, is a bona fide station wagon sighting. And to think, I was actually considering buying one.
That’s when I realized… there is probably some underground organization secretly plotting to bring back the 70’s little by little. It all made sense… the skyrocketing fuel costs… stagflation… long hair on men… resurgence of lime green on everything… I even hear that vinyl LP records are making a comeback… and now they’re trying to make us all drive station wagons under the cooler moniker “cross-over”.
I mean, even the name… “cross-over” evokes images of going over to the “other side” where enlightenment and happiness awaits.
Then a week ago I was helping a co-worker pick up something for the office. She had just recently bought a new Hyundai Veracruz…
She was very proud of it. She said that her teenage kids were the ones that wanted her to get it because they were embarrassed to be seen in their mini-van in front of their friends. It’s a nice car, but I wonder how her kids would react if they knew they begged their mom to buy a station wagon… a 21st century station wagon, but a station wagon nonetheless.
I’d choose a Mercedes SUV over that first car any day.
you’re so right… SUV’s are station wagons in cooler clothing! i feel like i just found out santa claus isn’t real!
You’re absolutely right. Today’s SUVs are just gussied up station wagons. I don’t know why Americans hate wagons and hatchbacks so. They’re just as useable as SUVs, but drive better and get better fuel economy due to their lower height and lighter weight, while costing less.
My family had a station wagon too. Fun times
hahaha, man, this cracked me up. i remember those threats from my dad. lol. i think we used to pack 2 people in the way back (feet outside the rear window, no seat belts), two – three people sitting in the middle section depending on year (rotating at every gas or food stop. middle person got to stick their feet in the front seat and was one step closer to backseat rotation). i think my dad had to turn the steering wheel like 5 times just to turn a corner. it looked like he was like driving a boat. lol. =)
Station wagons were great. You could have sex comfortably in the back.
Jeeeez man!! Think!!!
haha oh man, i like the “cross-overs”! but i didn’t realize that they do bear an uncanny resemblance to the station wagon. my parents didn’t have one with wood-paneling though… ours was powder blue. :\
Is that the “Wagon Queen Family Truckster” pictured above? Anybody know what movie I’m referencing?
my first car was an ’89 Oldsmobile Cruiser…no wood panelling on the exterior, but there was wood trim on the interior. It was suweet. Only cost me $17.50 too, which made it even better. Basically a solid block of steel on wheels, that thing was nigh impossible to stop once it got going. My brakes were incredible. However, some punk college student pulled out in front of me when I was on my way to class myself, I couldn’t stop, and couldn’t swerve and plowed into the back driver’s side of his car. My Bernice was totalled, and the guy went away with just a scratch on his Ford. I was ticked. But, it must have really been God, because I hit right where his gas tank was and nothing happened. And I got back $2650 for it. My new car was only $2800. 🙂 God is good in so many ways.
That bottom pic looks like the car the pastor here in Japan drives. Funny. 🙂
How long until we’re ashamed of them again? Maybe that will come back in with the wood paneling?