Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

I know it’s no secret, but I think it’s embarrassing how much we as a society put entirely too much significance on physical beauty.  Whether it’s from the makeover shows which shout at you that you can’t be happy unless you are attractive or from how much we faun over the hyper-glamorized celebrities or from something as simple as tending to show more kindness to better looking people… it completely permeates our culture.  And I think most of the time we’re not even aware that we do this.  I think that without even knowing it, we attribute so much more to beauty than just physical appearance.  It shapes our opinion of people we barely know.  On some level we grant more grace to attractive people than unattractive people.

And though right now you may be thinking… “but beauty is so subjective… you can’t say that,”  I would argue that there has to be an objective aspect of beauty or else we would not have movie stars and models and such.  It may be the idealistic and honorable thing to say that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but I think we’re kidding ourselves if we think that physical beauty is completely subjective.  If you had 100 people in a room and asked each of them to rank from 1 to 10 who they think are the most attractive ones in the room, I would almost guarantee that there would be some that receive a large percentage of the votes… and on the flip side there would be some who may not even receive a single vote.  That’s the harsh reality.

I know it’s not popular to think so – because it shows just how shallow we all are – but I think that in our society, if you’re beautiful you can virtually do no wrong.  Don’t believe me?  Let’s take a look at the gossip columns, shall we?  It is almost now universally accepted that Brad Pitt cheated on his wife Jennifer Anniston with Angelina Jolie (wow, look at all the pretty people…), and has Brad been crucified for his infidelity?  No, he’s on the talk show circuit promoting the movie in which he actually stars with the woman he cheated with.  Just the other day, he was cheered by throngs of people as he spoke at a benefit concert.  Has Angelina Jolie been branded as a homewrecker?  No, I think she was recently lauded for her acting career on “Inside the Actor’s Studio” or one of the other banal talkshows which have become our modern-day temples for our worship of the “stars”.

Who came out the worst in the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal?  Was it Bill Clinton who is making millions on a self-promoting book?  Monica Lewinsky who is using her infamy to sell handbags?  No, it’s Linda Tripp who simply brought to light some notorious lies.  Why?  I would argue that it’s because she wouldn’t sell magazines with her face on the cover.  And when was Monica Lewinsky most villified?  I seem to recall that it was when she gained some weight.  A President lied to the country, and yet a woman who recorded some phone calls was seen as a criminal.

Think of Jessica Lynch, the soldier who was rescued during the Iraq conflict.  She was brave wasn’t she?  But do you remember who was in that same convoy and was in captivity about 9 days longer?  Does the name Shoshana Johnson ring a bell?  She was the non-blue-eyed, non-white, non-petite African American woman who was shot in both legs during her captivity.  How many book and movie deals do you think she got compared to her more “attractive” counterpart?

But it’s not even the fact that it’s in the media how much better the beautiful people are treated that causes me to pause.  I see it all the time in just everyday life.  I see it in the youth group in how the cutesie girls are bathed in attention while the plain looking ones are virtually ignored (by the way, youth group guys, a word of advice… some of the prettiest women I know now were complete nerds in high school).  I notice that people are more polite and more smiley-faced towards attractive people.  I seem to remember that when I was in my 20’s that the more attractive women I knew had a fair number of male friends and they never understood why or just took it for granted.

I wonder if people realize that they’re being treated differently than other people.  I’ve observed that attractive people have an easier time asking people to do them favors.  This is probably because they’re used to having people do things for them because they’re attractive.  But I wonder if they don’t realize that this is not the norm.  I think that if a less attractive person and a more attractive person were to switch bodies for a month, each would be incredibly shocked at how differently they were treated.  Is confidence attractive?  Or is it that attractiveness built that confidence within them?

Now I would like to go on the record to say that I’m definitely not immune to any of the things I have mentioned.  I know that if I were to videotape my life, I’d be appalled at how hypocritical I am.  But these are my observations.  I hope that by writing them down, I can keep myself in check.  Beauty may be only skin-deep, but in this world it seems to be deep enough.

Pop quiz:  Who is the following passage describing?