I remember several years ago taking a spiritual gifts inventory test. I was not surprised by what I scored high on.(music, hospitality, teaching…). This is mainly because most of those questions were something like… “Do you like playing music?” or “Have you been told that you are talented in music?” or “Do you enjoy having people come to your home?” So it didn’t take a rocket scientist to predict what my results would be (by the way… rocket science is probably not really that complicated these days… the technology is decades old and computers do all of the number crunching, so we should find a new example – just a thought).
However, the thing I scored dead last on was a bit of a shocker. It was “mercy.” Now, I know no one would ever accuse me of being a bleeding heart, but dead last? I mean, it wasn’t even close. I think out of a possible 50 points, I scored a 7 (and you automatically get 5). I think the next one above it was “miracles” or something like that. So I guess that meant that it would be easier for me to perform a miracle than to show mercy. Great.
Granted, my Sunday School class might agree with this assessment because I make them do push ups if they’re late to class, and I don’t let them go to the bathroom whenever they feel like it. But I don’t think I’m particularly cruel. I think most of the people who know me would say that I’m pretty mellow most of the time.
But if I look at my heart (yes, I have one) more closely, I know that on its own it would be as black as coal. Bitterness would be the “lub,” and judgment would be the “dub” in its pulsing. Any love I would possess would only be the love of self and the things or people which feed it.
So what is it that keeps it from collapsing under the weight of it all? It is Christ in me and the mercy He showed me. It is a sliver of understanding of just how much I was forgiven of and the price that was exacted for my sin. For anyone to hold back mercy and still claim God’s is to spit on the cross and desecrate the empty tomb with graffiti… yet, here I am, mouth empty of saliva and hands covered with paint.
Good news you can change that. If you do not know how then Pray and ask God how!! I suggest reading 1Corthinains 13 and 1John 4 . These are some questions you might want to ask yourself:
1. What is a christian?
2. Why are you a christian?
3. How does God loves you and the rest of us?
Then find scripture to back it up. Well, the second question you do not need to find scripture for. Just food for thought. Especially since it seems you like to write. I do not know how long you have been a christian, but I will be a year old on March 19, 2007. I finding I have a very difficult time answering the second question. I have answer, but part of it is missing still.
yes, thankfully God’s mercy is abundant, even if ours isn’t. i hope you aren’t being too hard on yourself.hm, i recall taking the spiritual gifts assessment thing. i think my lowest scores were administration (didn’t surprise me) and, even lower, celibacy (didn’t know they were assessing for that!). ha! funny considering i previously worked in an office for way too many years…and that i’m still single. what’s up with that?
hey!mercy is something hard to learn and give because of society. Society isnt very forgiving, nor is it merciful. It functions under the covenant of the Law (Abrahamic one? i think?) and so when being constantly surrounded with this type of thinking its hard to “un-think” that…and become…nice people. But that’s why Jesus’ message was so radical, and is still radical. It doesnt fit in this world, it defies it, bewilders it. After all, how can one be a greater leader by serving? Machiavelli (Sp?! hahah who knew history might come in handy) is what all politicians read/follow kinda, and he says fear is better than love. “For anyone to hold back mercy and still claim God’s is to spit on the cross and desecrate the empty tomb with graffiti… yet, here I am, mouth empty of saliva and hands covered with paint.”…God didnt say you would be perfect after…dont worry about it. the fact that you want to change is important. and as long as you TAKE steps to change, then thats good too right??and miracles….miracles happen all the time, we just often chose to ignore the, to explain them away…